An Open Letter to Jack Frost from a Montanan
Dear Jack Frost,
After what you've done this week, I know you're expecting me to absolutely blow up at you. But I know that get us anywhere, so I'm taking a different approach. Before getting to any complaints, I think it's only right to give you the credit you deserve. I know you've been treated unfairly in the media, considering the only thing most people have heard about you is that you nip at people's noses. While that behavior is pretty strange, I think it's worthwhile to sing your praises, not just scream insults.
I'll start by remarking on the beauty of your work, every year I look forward to seeing the snowcapped mountains with pine trees carrying white fluff. That snow isn't just gorgeous to look at, it's also great to sled, ski or snowboard down. We also use it to make snow angels and build snow men. What you do each winter is part of the magic of Montana, I cherish these experiences and wouldn't trade them for anything.
That said, what's up with all the squalls? Excuse my rhymes, but all these squalls are what I call appalling. I know bring the temperature down is kind of your thing, but below zero degrees is a bit excessive. Also, please keep the ice off our sidewalks, roads and cars. It's slippery, and clearing it away is a drag.
Look, I don't like to complain— actually I do but I already made my point. I know you'll likely ignore my requests, but that's ok as long as you continue to enrich my life by giving me a proper winter season that not everyone gets to have.
P.S. But seriously, cut it out with all the nose nipping.