What if Those Heckin’ Puppers Took Over Montana?

You might have a pupper or doggo, or what some would refer to as "canine." They're also known as man's best friend, but I'm not so sure. Sure they may seem happy to see you when you get back home, running to the door while wagging their tails. That's an ACT.

Oh, and the warm cuddles that make you feel safe and loved unconditionally? FAKE.

I've already uncovered the cats' plot for world domination, but I think some people saw that one coming. What I'm about to do next will blow your mind and change the way you look at geopolitical conflicts forever.  

Those heckin' puppers are trying to take over the world, starting with Montana. Here's the blueprint for their plans in the Treasure State:

National Parks

We'd all be forced to move to locations where doggos can get the most beautiful walks possible, so the population of Glacier will absolutely skyrocket.

Farms

Instead of Montana's usual crops, all farms will be converted for the purpose of making luxury dog food. Also, their sheep herding days are over.

Restaurants

Kitchen staff will have a tough time with those puppers constantly barking orders. They wanna eat chimkin until they're all a bunch of heckin' chonkers.

Mandatory Petting

You know that sweet spot near your doggo's tail that your dog wants you to scratch forever? It'll be like you're one handed from now on because if you stop scratching even for a second, that's jail time. Or as the doggos call it, kennel time.

Tennis Balls

Tennis balls will become Montana's #1 export and Montana's #1 import. Just importing and exporting tennis balls all day until those puppers settle down for naptime.