What if Cats Took Over Montana?
Cats. They're cute, they're lovable and they're plotting to take over the world. Even the biggest fans of cats will admit that they're something shady about them. Sure, they act sweet when they want a belly rub or some wet food, but behind their itty-bitty little paws and absolutely precious, soothing purring noises is a political mastermind that will stop at nothing to achieve world domination and the enslavement of humanity— they've already done that last part.
They're incredible strategists, knowing that it's best to start small and work their way up. The next step is to take over a state, one not too large but with enough resources to help them execute the rest of their plans, a state like Montana. Here's what I think would happen if cats took over the Treasure State:
Oh, but the cats won't be riding bulls, only humans are silly enough to do that. The cats will be riding us, let's just hope they let us wear saddles, because the only thing more painful than the embarrassment of having one on would be their claws digging into our backs. Zoinks!
Humans would no longer have access to any dough, as cats would be kneading it and making biscuits around the clock.
We'd be required to drop everything at a moment's notice to give butt scratches whenever a cat demands it, for as long as the cat wants and not one moment after.
All of Montana's farms would only grow one, single crop. Catnip, and every cat will have a special table where they'll keep it so they can go full Scarface.
You know how those naughty cats meow for supper even when it's not time yet? That's why I'm worried they'd over fish Montana's lakes and rivers.
They'll be outlawed, and anyone found to be in possession of this contraband will be sentenced to a brutally hissed at, with no less than 5 swats to the nose.
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