How A Potential TikTok Ban Could Affect Montana (Humor)

I just read the news, and although I knew this was a possibility, I'm still shocked. Here's the summary from Newstalk KGVO "Montana just became the first state in the U.S. to approve a ban on the popular TikTok app" due to "concerns over everything from it being spyware, to promoting irresponsible behaviors, especially among teens." You can read the whole article here.

Governor Gianforte hasn't signed the bill and it remains to be seen if he will or not. As of right now, TikTok isn't banned in Montana, but for the fun of it, let's imagine what could happen if it is, and in the silliest way I can muster. Here's how a TikTok ban could affect Montana:

Youth Exodus

All of Montana's young people who have the means could move to another state. With only old people there'd be no one here to keep Montana hip, and we'd become the laughing stock of the United States. On the plus side, you'd no longer hear ridiculous phrases like "this vibe lit af no cap for real for real."

Everyone Gets Smarter

Maybe our parents are right, maybe TikTok really is rotting our brains. In that case, Montana's about to become the smartest state in the nation. We'll become the new hub for green energy and power the world, or maybe we'll just get a lot better at Wordle— who knows?

Cultural Renaissance

Without the power of a mysterious algorithm to keep users glued to their phones, maybe Montanans would be inspired to create works of art instead of endlessly scrolling. What if the next Beatles come from Butte?

We Bring Back Vine

Remember Vine? It was basically TikTok but it was way less controversial. Montana could bring it back or make a new app that resembles it, and save the rest of our country from the terror of losing short-form video content.