Billie Eilish Reveals She Nearly Took Her Own Life in 2018
Billie Eilish opened up about her struggles with suicidal thoughts.
The "Bad Guy" hitmaker sat down for an interview with Gayle King on The Gayle King Grammy Special, which aired Thursday (January 23), and revealed that the pressures of fame nearly pushed her to take her own life in 2018.
"I didn't ever think I would be happy again, ever," Eilish explained.
"I was so unhappy last year. I was so unhappy and I was so joyless," the pop star, who celebrated her 18th birthday in December, admitted. "I don't want to be too dark but I genuinely didn't think I would make it to 17."
"You didn't think you'd make it to 17?" King repeated.
"No," Elish responded.
"But did you think that you would do something to yourself?" King asked.
"Yeah," Eilish said, before recalling a specific moment she struggled with suicidal thoughts. "I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it."
When asked about why she didn’t take that extra step, Eilish said, "my mom."
King then asked if there was any truth behind the lyric "I wanna end me" in her song "Bury a Friend."
"It was," she shared. "It also rhymed."
These days, the pop star appears to be in a much better place and says she personally reaches out to fans struggling with similar issues to make sure they don't harm themselves. "I just grab them by the shoulders and I'm like, 'Please take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself," she said. "Don't take that extra step and hurt yourself further and then you can't take it back.'"
You can watch a clip of Eilish's interview with King, below:
This Sunday (January 26), Eilish will perform at the 62 Annual Grammys Awards, where she is nominated for six awards. She's also the youngest nominee in Grammy history to be nominated in all four major categories: Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year and Best New Artist.
The singer is also currently touring and has 26 upcoming concerts in 2020. Her next tour date is in Miami on March 9 before performing in cities across the U.S., Canada and Europe. You can buy tickets and get more information here.